Your inner child optimism can help you cope with trauma<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So Jay, you had a really difficult start in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said, \u201cIf people had gone through what I\u2019ve been through, they would be in jail, or they would be dead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can you share your childhood story with us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So, from a young age, I was with my mother. She was an alcoholic, and we went through some tough times growing up, me and my younger brother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of the stuff that we\u2019ve been through as young children, adults were living through that at such young age. At four or five, I was going to P1, Primary One school, being sent to school with no food and like stuff for your break that normal kids would be sent to school with for like a lunch and a break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because of the place that my mother was in, she never sent us to school with a break. God love her too, because she was an alcoholic and she was going through different things with different demons and stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From a young age, I was growing up walking to school from our house, was nearly like a mile and a half, and I was only in P1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So there were some hard times, really hard times when you look back, and think to yourself, \u201cI would never want my kids to go through what I went through.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I was put into different children\u2019s homes and foster parents where my mother obviously couldn\u2019t look after us anymore, so we were taken over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One thing that sticks in my mind was when the police came to take us away. We were probably five and six, and my brother run away from the police. There was a policeman and a policewoman. My younger brother bit the policewoman because he didn\u2019t want to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were put in the children\u2019s home twice. We\u2019d then come out, and we were then put into another, like foster care. It was another home with other children and stuff there. And then that must have passed, and we were back in the children\u2019s home again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then we had actually run away from the home one night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My brother wasn\u2019t even meant to come with us, and there was like five or six of us. And we had actually taken some of the pennies, there was only like 50p\u2019s and 20p\u2019s, from the office. I was eight at the time, and my brother was a year younger, well, 13 months younger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we actually ran away, got on the train, and went to Carrick, which is about eight miles away. And the school had gravel ground, like gravel patches at the back. And we walked across the back of the gravel patches, and we jumped the fence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And as we jumped the fence, my brother run out in front of a car and was knocked down and killed in front of me, just there and then. It was just crazy how everything in your life that you grew up, with your younger brother being so close.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A year before my mother died, she said to me, \u201cMake sure to look after Wayne,\u201d which is my younger brother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And all there in that split second, it was all just taken away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Going from the children\u2019s home then, after that, I was actually fostered by my uncle, after all that had happened. It was actually a few family members that actually tried to foster me after it happened, and I went to live with my uncle and auntie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This probably, obviously put me and helped me have a bit of stability in my life that I\u2019d never had going from different houses and children\u2019s homes and stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
That was such a traumatic upbringing for you, especially that moment of watching your brother being killed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did you get through those first few months after that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Were you able to turn to your uncle and family members for help?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I think whenever it all happened, looking back now, I never got any counselling or anything at all or any support. I think the thing that probably saved me was how young I was at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I was so young, I think that\u2019s what actually helped me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously, it was a horrific thing that happened, but I think just getting by and thinking to myself, I was going to be fostered and everything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s like the inner child, how young you were, you\u2019re just thinking to yourself, it\u2019s something bigger. Even now, even when I wrote my book and stuff, you look back and think to yourself the mindset that you had. It\u2019s like mindsets that people have now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I was a child, I just went, \u201cEverything\u2019s going to be alright.\u201d I was often thinking, \u201cSomething better is going to coming up,\u201d but you were just dealing with it self-consciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Actually, that optimism you had as a child probably got you through what was a really traumatic time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Working for free will get you the experience and exposure you need<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And you partly found relief from your profession. I know you\u2019ve been a barber for the past 16 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Started out working for free, sweeping the floor, making coffee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What made you turn to that profession?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I think the reason that I turned to it, I always wanted to do it. And I was in the army, and I was cutting hair there, and I always wanted to do it. I always put it off because I didn\u2019t have the confidence to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I went and worked in a barbershop in Northern Ireland. I started there. I went to do a trade test. A trade test is you go do a haircut to see if you\u2019re good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prior to this, I was actually cutting hair and charging, and I was doing ok. And I went and done the trade test, and when I walked in the shop, it was amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I went and done the haircut, and they came back to me and said, \u201cYou weren\u2019t good enough. You didn\u2019t get the job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I went, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So three weeks\u2019 later I sent them an email survey saying, \u201cPlease keep me in mind if there\u2019s any other further stuff that comes up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So three weeks\u2019 later, by chance, I got an email from one of the owners asking me to come up. And I knew the woman when I walked in, and she was smiling. She says, \u201cI\u2019ve got an offer for you. I\u2019m going to give you a job, but I\u2019m not paying you.\u201d And I said, \u201cNo problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I actually went and worked there for probably seven months for free, doing all the chores and everything else. But I\u2019m glad I did it because it helped me become the barber I am now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whereas if everything came too fast, it wouldn\u2019t be any good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think it put a lot of foundations into the way I am now, whether it\u2019s like cleaning toilets or making coffee or customer service or whatever it is, it really stands by you later in life when you\u2019re actually cutting hair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Having the right energy and mindset will attract customers<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, you had to really roll up your sleeves, do a bit of everything and work really hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you did work your way up to manager. How did you build up your clientele and your reputation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I think building up my reputation was a lot of hard work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the time, there were times that I actually worked there and didn\u2019t have enough money to get my bus fare. You had to get two buses to where it was, and I actually had to walk from where I lived at the time, which was probably eight miles or something around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But all wee things like that and me doing it and becoming the manager for House of Fraser was a big, big stepping stone in my career because with what I learned very early on, people might not remember your name, but they\u2019ll always remember what you made them feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I always applied that to every single thing and just worked and worked and worked. And it\u2019s got to be where I am today with so many clients and everything that I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I think when you have that sort of mindset, and you have that sort of energy, everything else attracts to you because obviously, the sort of way you\u2019re thinking and the way you\u2019re treating people and the way you\u2019re trying to give people a good service, it all ties in together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your own difficult experiences can help you to deliver better customer service<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I mean, so much of that profession does rely on customer service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you think you brought a different kind of empathy and energy given your background?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Definitely I think because of what I\u2019ve been through. It\u2019s like if somebody says to me, \u201cYou\u2019ve done really well or whatever,\u201d I can\u2019t really take that on board because of the childhood I had.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel like I don\u2019t deserve people bigging me up or giving me compliments, because obviously I\u2019ve been through a hell of a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And obviously, as a child growing up with not very much, it gives you the sort of mindset like, \u201cI just have to keep going. I just have to keep patient, patient and patient.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I certainly felt like Peter Pan at the start when I was doing it. I never grew up. I only grew up really later in my barbering career, whereas at the start I thought to myself, \u201cJust keep pushing yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When working hard leads to you to playing even harder<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And you did keep pushing yourself and were doing really well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, what is it that made you turn to drugs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I think the reason that I turned to drugs is because I thought because I was working so hard and the money that I was making, that I deserved this. And I just got out of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the start it was going out partying and everything else and taking a bit of coke here. I think my personality is like a productive personality where I can work loads, but on the other hand, if you\u2019re going to work as hard, you\u2019re going to play harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then the two of them don\u2019t mix, with how much money that I was making at the start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I opened Jay\u2019s Male Grooming in 2012, it was crazy money that I was making compared to what I was making working for the barbershop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the partying was just, little by little, the cocaine, I just couldn\u2019t get enough. Nothing was ever enough for me. It was just party, party, party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And obviously everything around you is just like a sandcastle. It might not be next week, it might be in five years\u2019 time, but eventually everything\u2019s going to come down around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whether it be your workers, your family, your support, your marriage or whatever, everything\u2019s going to definitely take its toll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Underselling your business is heartbreaking, but sometimes it is needed for a fresh start<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And at what point did everything around you fall down?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What was the lowest point, and how did you then start to turn your life around?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The thing for me was, I was going between \u00a32,000-\u00a32,500 and sometimes more, sometimes a little bit less. That\u2019s what I was making at Jay\u2019s Male Grooming, having five people working for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everybody really, as I said at the start of the interview, the goal from here was zero to hero, whatever way it was going to be. At the start, it was zero to hero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whenever that all came down, and I sold my shop, the big thing for me was I sold a really, really successful business for very, very little money. The reason I\u2019d done that was because I was hitting the self-destruct button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was offered over \u00a350,000 a couple of years before, and I think I sold the business for just under \u00a36,000, and that was with everything in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that\u2019s the sort of mindset that I was in. I just felt like it was a failure, and a lot to do with the way I was thinking about taking drugs and everything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I remember my wife Orla pleading with me and crying, saying, \u201cPlease don\u2019t sell this. Please don\u2019t sell this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I just wanted to get rid of it because I created this monster, and I needed to get rid of it as well, because it was so successful and there\u2019s so many people coming in the shop and everything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It took me so much to build it up, but to get rid of it, it was hard, but it was good because it obviously had to happen. But the lowest point was obviously selling that business for such little money with every single thing in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But obviously, because of my actions of taking drugs and everything else, because you can\u2019t be like a workaholic and then doing that as well and thinking that you\u2019re going to give people a good service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And people can see it. They can see that there is something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ending addiction isn\u2019t as straightforward as selling your business<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Do you think you associated your business then with that downfall and the drug addiction, and you just wanted to completely cut that lifestyle and start again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Whenever I was living that lifestyle, whenever I cut it away, there was part of me thought, \u201cIf I can give this away, the shop and everything else and the money and everything else, maybe it\u2019ll come to an end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But to be honest, when I sold the shop, it wasn\u2019t the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean, it just didn\u2019t get me off drugs. I was in so many dark places. And once I took that, at the start the way it makes you feel and the way it makes you feel at the end, how much it can infiltrate your mind and think to yourself, \u201cI\u2019m alright,\u201d but you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And little by little, it\u2019s taking its toll. It\u2019s like cutting your big toe off and still walking about whilst you\u2019re bleeding, and your life\u2019s just bleeding out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And going from that and everything else, and I had a bad fall. I was taking drugs one night, and I had a fall out of a third-story window in a hotel. I broke my wrist, I had broken ribs, a collapsed lung, and 150 stitches in my leg. And even all that didn\u2019t stop me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is why I\u2019ve done talks for young males that are going through depression. And I\u2019ve stood on top of a stage and told them even after all that I went through, it still didn\u2019t take stop me from taking cocaine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I\u2019ve stood there, and I\u2019ve told them all that you can think to yourself that you\u2019re going to stop doing drugs because of things like that, and the things that happened to me, but that didn\u2019t stop me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a big, big problem because at the end of the day, if you\u2019re not going to stop after something like that happens and something so serious. The wound of my leg was opening right up at the outer side of my right knee. You could actually nearly see the bones. It was madness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The thing about all that and the mindset that I was in, it was just like it wouldn\u2019t have bothered me if I had died because I was just in such a bad place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No matter what I was taking, the cocaine, it was just making me really, really agitated. It was making me very anxious. It was making me very paranoid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And no matter what anybody would\u2019ve said to me, they\u2019re like, \u201cYou\u2019re alright. You\u2019re alright.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I wasn\u2019t. I was far from all right. It was just a really, really bad place I was in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Finding a community in faith and ditching addiction<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So, what did it take then for you to stop the drugs? How did you stop that addiction?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The way I stopped it, I was in the laundry shop close to my home, the valley laundry shop and I bumped into one of my friends, Ricky Malone. And it\u2019s crazy how it happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He walked past me, and then he walked back and shook my hand, and we got talking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And he says, \u201cHi, how are you?\u201d and all this. And I took his number. And that night he sent me his testimony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019d done an Alpha course with the church, and I remember reading it. I remember sitting on the sofa looking at it and going, \u201cI would absolutely love to do something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So Ricky invited me to go on the 12-week Alpha course with the church, and I went and attended that. And I missed one week of it, and at the end, I ended up getting saved by a fellow called Michael Wiley, who is an absolute gentleman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, the answer to your question about how did I get off it, I\u2019d done an Alpha course, and I just started walking with God, and that\u2019s the only reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s the thing that can get through to people, because a lot of people don\u2019t even believe me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can see it because of how I handled it, I was drinking, doing drugs and partying. And they\u2019re going, \u201cThere\u2019s no way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s actually people, men, or women, that have run out the church to speak to my pastor and say, \u201cIs it definitely Jay, the one with the tattoos? Is that the one you saved?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It just shows you on the outside looking in, how bad people thought my drug addiction was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s probably taken me a long time to accept and speak openly about it, actually. But if I can help anybody else, that\u2019s what I\u2019m really driven to do, and that\u2019s why I\u2019ve done many, many talks in front of a lot of people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Do you think for the first time you felt like you had that support and community around you that perhaps you didn\u2019t have growing up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, that\u2019s actually a good point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously, growing up as a young fellow, with everything I went through, I never had any support, I didn\u2019t have a counsellor, or anyone throwing their arm around me and showing me that everything was going to be okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t even remember, as a child, anybody hugging me and saying, \u201cI love you.\u201d And I have children myself. I have four boys and three girls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And at the end of the day, it\u2019s literally like I\u2019m breaking generational cycles, which I\u2019m very aware of now with the stuff like the drug taking and getting out clean and doing what I\u2019m doing now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Self-reflection can be a good form of therapy<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And Jay, what prompted you to write a book about your experiences, and how hard was that process?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I was actually going to write a book 10 years prior to me writing a book, and it was for all the wrong reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was writing the book just because I thought, \u201cI\u2019m doing so well and everybody\u2019s going to want to know why.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And really, it\u2019s about how God works in your life, and it shows in what he\u2019s done for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me doing that book, I had to dig in really, really deep into all of my feelings, and I never thought, until I had actually done it, what I was going to be dragging up, and all the things I thought I\u2019d actually dealt with but hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it\u2019s been very, very good because I\u2019ve sold over nearly 600 copies now, and with the life I\u2019ve had and the amount of people that have reached out to me about the positive of the impact of doing that book. But even with how hard it was, it\u2019s been unbelievable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Was it hard for you to write that book? You mentioned that you never had any kind of counselling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was writing the book almost like a therapy session in itself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, definitely. Because whenever you\u2019re saying all these things, you\u2019re going, \u201cDid I actually go through that?\u201d It\u2019s nearly like a dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m coming up to 41 now, and that stuff all happened obviously when I was such a young age. You\u2019re going like, \u201cHow did I get through all that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it was very, very good for me accepting the things that I\u2019ve been through and seeing it all for what it is and for a long time, a really long time, I\u2019d blamed myself for letting Wayne come with me and getting killed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And obviously, by accepting everything, I realised it was always going to happen. I couldn\u2019t have done anything about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, for a long period of time, I was carrying that about with me, about what happened. And me taking the drink and drugs and everything else, a part of me was probably being childish and selfish and thinking to myself, \u201cWell, look what I\u2019ve been through. I deserve to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When realistically, I needed to stand up and accept everything for what it is and be accountable for what\u2019s happened in my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teach not only trade skills but life skills to your employers<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So you got your life back on track. You started Jay\u2019s Barber Club. And you also have a training academy for anyone who wants to learn the trade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What made you launch that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So, from my opening my own barbers in 2012, I was always teaching people. I taught my workers, and then I give them the job. I didn\u2019t really bring anybody in to work that wasn\u2019t trained by me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So then about four-and-a-half years ago, I launched the barber club where I was teaching in my CV shop in Belfast. Then it was just too small, and now we\u2019ve got a proper academy where I train them and not even just train them, I try and mentor them life skills as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because as soon as they walk through the door, I can sort of know who\u2019s who and what they\u2019re going through, I can realise if people are having a hard time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I\u2019ve helped many people, and I\u2019m very, very grateful that the people that are on the course aren\u2019t just here to learn about becoming a barber. They can learn so much more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the thing I\u2019m very, very excited and grateful for is, there are so many people on the course. At the minute, there are 30 people a week on my course, and they come from everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are people from Scotland, Romania, everywhere. And by opening my academy, I can actually give people jobs as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So there\u2019s a lot of people that are super grateful, and they text me all the time and say, \u201cJay, I\u2019m so grateful for you giving me this chance.\u201d And all I say back to them is, \u201cJust keep pushing. Just keep pushing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not to be that chap that\u2019s sat here going, \u201cHere I am, doing really well and helping people.\u201d I don\u2019t mean to be arrogant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s just because of what I\u2019ve been through, I can\u2019t accept that praise, all that. See if I can get these people, and what I am doing is helping them and lifting people up as much as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Helping others to believe in themselves will get you out of bed in the morning<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Is that what motivates you and gets you out of bed every morning?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Yeah. Me getting out of bed in the morning, it\u2019s like when people play a match on a Saturday, they might get butterflies in their stomach, and that\u2019s exactly the way I feel if I\u2019m going to work on a Saturday because of how busy it\u2019ll be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It helps me get up in the morning, because I know so many people are there looking up to me, and these people are on my course, and they know my story too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So there are people that are booked on this course because they\u2019ve read my book. And at the end of the day, everybody\u2019s going through their own challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everybody\u2019s going through life. And people think life\u2019s easy because they\u2019re on social media. They\u2019re on all sorts of platforms thinking, \u201cI want that life.\u201d But they don\u2019t realise that\u2019s fake. It\u2019s not real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I think people that are on the course, they literally look at me and go, \u201cFlip me. He\u2019s real, and he\u2019s been through it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that\u2019s what gives me the fuel, not anything about the money, it\u2019s about helping people, because there\u2019s so many people out there. At my academy, I have skateboards and each skateboard says, \u201cBelieve in yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I tell all of them when they first come on the first night of the course, \u201cEverybody put your hand up and pat yourself on the back because the hardest thing on this course was to come tonight, because you\u2019re obviously nervous, and you\u2019re scared.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So it\u2019s all these small things to take out, just to try and help people. That helps me too because, at the end of the day, I\u2019m grateful I can be in a position to help so many people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Jay, do you feel like you believe in yourself yet? You said it\u2019s really hard still for you to take compliments and accept the success of your business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I definitely do believe in myself, but I just believe I can keep pushing myself. And whether that\u2019s come from me having such a successful business in the industry, or because of where I was mentally with drinking and drugs, and then where I am now, I 100% believe in myself in every way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the thing is, the mindset and the flow that I\u2019m in now is because of how good the business was and, more or less overnight, it went away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So now it\u2019s like I\u2019m in the boat going, \u201cI will never let that happen to me again, never. And I will do whatever it takes just to keep on the right track.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if that\u2019s helping people along the way or lifting people up, then that\u2019s what it takes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Never forget your roots\u2014use your business to give back to disadvantaged backgrounds<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
You talk a lot about lifting other people up. I\u2019d love to know your advice for other business owners on how they can support people from disadvantaged backgrounds and really break that glass ceiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The thing about helping other business owners, I think there\u2019s probably a lot of people out there would love to do it, but they don\u2019t know how to go about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I think maybe getting the knowledge and what you\u2019re actually wanting to do or having to focus or having to plan or sitting down. If there\u2019s anybody I can help along the way in business, I will, and I\u2019ll help them bring people in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve actually been asked to go into a local deal and teach as well, but because I\u2019m so busy, I can\u2019t really commit to it because realistically I\u2019m working nearly six days a week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m off on a Wednesday, which is today. After this podcast, I\u2019m going into Belfast. And I cut hair for the homeless, and I\u2019ve done that for maybe 18 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if I don\u2019t go, they actually text the pastor and say, \u201cIs Jay coming today? Is Jay coming?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So stuff like that where if other business owners maybe had a bit of knowledge of either reaching out to somebody, maybe helping other people, they\u2019ll be very, very humble for doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Running online courses and featuring on the big screen<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And you mentioned that you are never going to stop pushing yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what is your vision for Jay\u2019s Barber Club and the academy? What does success look like for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
So I opened the barbershop in an area which is very challenging for some people in Belfast. So I put that, my business, in Belfast, and trying to give them a really, really good service for smaller money than Belfast c ity centre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So then I cracked that because we\u2019re flooded and really, really busy in there. Then I opened up the academy, and the academy\u2019s really busy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So my vision for the next five years is to, which I\u2019ve already started, is to do online courses. So I\u2019ve filmed all that. It\u2019s cost a lot of money to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve got a mentor, Daniel, who is very, very supportive. So I\u2019ve got a successful mentor. We meet up once a week, and we go through different things and where we\u2019re going to go and write stuff down and have a bit of a head-to-head on what we\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And from meeting Daniel about nine, 10 months ago, I\u2019ve actually filmed all my online courses. I\u2019ve got 10 modules and going forward with that, it\u2019s just starting to get that in front of people, so we can sell it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I\u2019ve got good news about my book as well. They\u2019re going to make it into a film, and it\u2019s going to be made into a play as well. So there are exciting times ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So it\u2019s going to be amazing whenever all that comes, because if you\u2019re thinking positively, and you\u2019re focused on the right things, anything\u2019s possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s amazing. Who\u2019s going to play you in the film?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not too sure about the film, but in the play, in the grand opera house in Belfast, the boy that\u2019s going to be doing that is, I don\u2019t know if you know the grandad that\u2019s in the TV show, Derry Girls? It\u2019s his son that produces it, and he makes plays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he actually sent word through one of my colleagues, \u201cWould Jay be willing to stand onstage and speak?\u201d So I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll be involved in it or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So it\u2019ll be challenging, but at the end of the day, you have to do these things. You\u2019re not going to grow if you\u2019re comfortable all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Exactly. You have to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How having a mentor can help take your business to the next level<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Speaking of which, you mentioned your mentor. How did you meet him, and what have you learned from him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Daniel and I met through one of my clients that I was cutting hair for a long time ago. And when I was cutting this client\u2019s hair, he told me that, he says, \u201cYou need to contact Daniel and go and speak to Daniel. He\u2019s amazing. He\u2019s amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I let it slip. It didn\u2019t happen. Maybe a year and a half ago he was in Dubai, and he sent me a message out of the blue. I\u2019d sent him a message probably months before, asked about was he still doing coaching and stuff?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I never followed up because I\u2019m so, so busy and everything. Just life gets in the way. And he sent me a message and said, \u201cHey Jay, it\u2019s Daniel. I\u2019d love to have a Zoom call. I\u2019m in Dubai.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was like, \u201cWhat? What\u2019s this about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We had the meeting, and then he came back from Dubai. He actually lives in Northern Ireland, and I went and met him. And he says, \u201cYou\u2019ve got amazing energy, and I think we should work together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And ever since, everything that\u2019s happened for me, from then to now, has been unbelievable, really, really good, because I have an online shop, have an online presence now where I never had before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, I had Facebook. I had social media. But I never had a place where people can go buy my clothing or my hats or like clothing ranges and stuff, or my books and my online courses as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So there\u2019s really been a really, really positive impact from I met Daniel, obviously from a business point of view as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And do you think having a coach has changed the way you run the business?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
100%. Because the way I run the business now and meeting Daniel, it shows me how I didn\u2019t run the first business very well when I had the first shop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now that I\u2019m doing it, it just shows you how much of a well-oiled machine it is. I\u2019m very, very strict, but I\u2019m very, very fair, because at the end of the day, I wouldn\u2019t ask any of my workers to do something I wouldn\u2019t do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every morning at half eight, we go and clean the shop all together. And I think they respect you more. But as you said, the mindset with meeting Daniel and people like him, it\u2019s madness the difference of where you\u2019re thinking is at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Connecting with your staff and helping the homeless<\/h2>\n\n\n\nKate Bassett:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
What are some of the other disciplines you\u2019ve put in place to make sure the business does run like a well-oiled machine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason Millar:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I make sure that the shop\u2019s always spotless, that all the bills are paid, and just having face-to-faces and having team meetings with my workers to make sure that they\u2019re happy, making sure that the clients are all happy as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because at the end of the day, what I tell my workers all the time when we\u2019ll have team meetings, \u201cIt\u2019s all right to get the top. It\u2019s even harder to stay there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, at the end of the day, don\u2019t be ever thinking that you just haven\u2019t made it, because you haven\u2019t made it yet. Because I\u2019m living proof that anything can happen if you take your eye off the ball or whatever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So you need to keep pushing yourselves and just the small things like that, and the cleanliness of the shop and just all the different tips that we would do with the clients of actually getting new clients in, like referring friends or going around to colleges offering free haircuts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I volunteer in a palliative care hospital for end-of-life patients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So a few months ago I put a Facebook video out of me, asking other barbers, to jump on board in place. \u201cCan anybody help me with this? Because I can\u2019t do it all myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I ended up with about 15 other barbers in a group chat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So now I can work. I made sure the video said that I wasn\u2019t trying to get them to just and come work for me. I just want this to help me, help others. There\u2019s so many homeless people in Belfast. There are so many aspects to it and so many people that need their hair cut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inspired by this small business story?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Wherever you\u2019re listening or watching, subscribe to Sound Advice on Apple iTunes<\/a> here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We are also on Spotify<\/a> and anywhere else you get your podcasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Join our community to share your insights and stories on Twitter @SageIreland<\/a> using the hashtag #SoundAdvicePodcast, on Instagram @SageOfficial<\/a> or in the comments below!<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can follow Jay\u2019s Barber Club on Instagram<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can find out more about Jay\u2019s Pro Barber Academy on their website<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWant to know more about Jay\u2019s Barber Club & Jay\u2019s Pro Barber Academy or Jason Millar?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.sage.com\/en-ie\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/08\/YBCA_FY19_Intacct_V3_0338-1-1215x810.jpg\")
\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.sage.com\/en-ie\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/04\/z.5E3A0481_All-Uses.jpg\")
\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"